- Do you like to garden?
No, my back is killing me. I’ll buy a recliner and stay in the house.
Yes, puttering around outside makes me happy.
2. Will anyone help you garden?
No, my husband grew up in an apartment in NYC where reaching into his pocket to tip the Super was his preferred exercise.
Yes, but it will have to be someone besides aforementioned husband.
3. Are you too old to garden?
Yes, 75 year old’s should do the least amount of exercise they can get away with.
NO, getting dirty on my knees makes me happy.
4. Will you be able to keep up the garden?
No, it will become a weedy eyesore.
Yes, I’m too stubborn to give up.
5. Once again, aren’t you too old to learn new garden things?
Yes, for sure. I’ll get two recliners and join my husband in front of a really big TV.
No, let me die on my knees doing what I love.
6. Do you care about composting?
No, that’s what landfills are for.
Yes, it kills me to see my banana peels rotting in a black plastic bag.
7. Do you have enough space to garden?
No, grass is all I have room for.
Yes, a gardener can garden in a window box.
8. Do you like your grass?
Yes, I like paying $50 a week to watch a man race a loud machine over my crabgrass.
No, I could use that $50 for more plants.
9. Should you start a new garden at age 75?
Who am I kidding? I belong in a recliner.
Yes, I’ll do it.